Dear Dave,

My husband works very hard, and he makes $25,000 a year. We’ve got $21,000 in credit card debt, plus ongoing medical bills for our special needs child. Right now, we’re living in an old trailer. My father told us he’s willing to help us pay down some of the debt and get us moved into a house if we’ll attend financial counseling. Do you have any better ideas?

Cheryl

Dear Cheryl,

If the money is going to be loan – in other words, if you’re going to have to make payments to your dad – I wouldn’t do it. The borrower is always slave to the lender, even when it’s your parents.

If you want family events to feel really strange, have debt to your parents. It twists you up inside, and since it’s YOUR dad we’re talking about, the whole situation will be especially tough on your husband.

Now, if this is going to be a gift with no expectation of repayment, that’s a little bit different. But I think your dad is right on target with making the money contingent on you guys getting some financial counseling. If you were my child, I’d definitely expect that much AND for you guys to start saving money for the future. That’s only fair.

You two obviously aren’t spoiled little brats running around spending money like there’s no tomorrow. But having a family and raising kids on $25,000 a year would be hard on anyone – even without the credit card and medical bills.

I’d also suggest that your husband map out a plan for improving his earning potential. It would be great if the two of you could sit down together and do this. Give him some support and boost his confidence. Let him know he’s smart, talented and can be anything he wants to be. Help him decide what he wants to be doing three of four years from now and the steps he can take to make it happen.

He’s a hard-working man, Cheryl. But today’s culture doesn’t always reward just hard work.

We’re in a knowledge-based economy right now, one where you need to put the brain in gear on a regular basis to really get things done.

Always remember: You make more money when you PLAN to make more money!

— Dave

Dear Dave,

My wife has been working at the same company for the last 20 years. She makes $40,000 a year, and she can retire in nine years with full benefits. This may sound crazy, but we’re wondering if it would be a good idea for her to quit now and stay at home with our two toddlers. We’re debt-free, and we could save some money and pay the bills on my income. Is this a bad idea?

Sam

Dear Sam,

Is mom staying home with the kids a bad idea? I don’t think so! Go ask those kids which they’d like best – benefits or having mommy around a lot more – and see what they have to say. You already know the answer to that one, don’t you?

We don’t work for retirement and benefits. We work for what benefits and retirement DO for us. Benefits can help us take care of our families, and one of those benefits is money that we can make and save money. Even if she quits, you guys can still do that.

There are all kinds of great work benefits out there, Sam. But if you really want to see some benefits, pour as much time as you can into your kids!

- Dave

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